Cold and Windy

I couldn't wait for the weekend to dress up. Yesterday started off a bit odd. I knew our car needed a MOT but didn't know the date. So while on the way to work I called my wife and asked her to find the Certificate and let me know the date. 5 minutes later she called to say it ran out on the 13th. That wasn't so bad until she added October!!!

So I've driving about all that time without a valid MOT. I would have to leave the car at work, but that meant no car for the weekend and no going out dressed anywhere. I don't feel confident enough to walk out from home fully enfemme. Anyway the upshot is that we've hired a car for the weekend.

As I said I couldn't wait for the weekend to be with my wife and to dress up so Friday night was the start of it but couldn't bring myself to dress up. It's a mixture of tiredness and guilt. I feel guilty a lot and wonder how other TVs cope with it. At a friends house some weeks back (another TV) we had a brief chat about the guilt thing. She said she had never felt guilt and while her wife was alive she had been fully accepting of it. Well my wife is fully accepting of it as well so what is the difference between us then? Well my friend came into crossdressing as an adult, but my earliest memories are from when I was 5 years old. So could it be that those early years of being imprinted of what a boy should and shouldn't do are the key to my guilty feelings? I'd be interested to know what your view is.

So Friday night was a wash out as far as dressing up was concerned but Saturday is different. The battle between the guilt and the compulsion to dress was won and I sit here wearing a Little Black Dress , knickers and shoes. I did my usual walk to the end of the drive but I rushed back inside not because of the usual panic about neighbours seeing me but because it is so cold and windy.

An online friend has been trying to get me so I'm waiting for her to contact me again. She told her wife about crossdressing and she didn't take it too well and although she has chilled somewhat he said it is still a sensitive issue. It begs the question though doesn't it that what is it that women find so difficult to accept? I would love to know. My wife accepted it almost without question so maybe I should start my investigation there.

My wife said I should dress up this morning and she'll take me for a drive to the coast. I've been there before and got out of the car and went for a walk with her for about half a mile. I managed on that day in daylight to stay away from the car and stay out in full view of the public for more than an hour and a half. When I look back on the experience I still can't believe I did it. Some people really stared but some to my surprise even said hello to us and it was a mixture of both male and female. The other thing to add is that as a Crossdresser/Transvestite, I don't look to good so it isn't like people will pay no attention to me. I really do look like a 'geezer in drag'.

I might post again later but for now I want to go surfing.