Out to my Friend

Well a short while ago I mentioned about telling my friend Julie about my crossdressing. We have been friends for about 20 years and I was unsure how she would react when I told her. I was invited to hers for a cuppa last Tuesday. While there we had the usual chit chat about things when I said that I felt a bit embarrassed about something. She obviously asked what it was. So I just said that my Sister found out that I was a crossdresser. She immediately said "How did she find out?" And that's how Julie got to know about my crossdressing. I showed her some photos of me dressed and she complimented me. She was fantastic about it all and even suggested that I dress up and go out shopping with her. I told her things weren't that simple and that at times I felt low and even embarrassed about dressing and being seen. She pushed those doubts aside and gave me more encouragement to go out dressed and cited occasions where she had seen other crossdressers out and about. Even when I raised concerns about being ridiculed she pushed them aside and then said don't worry about them just do what you want to do.

That was a truly an amazing reaction and so much better than I thought it would be. But I just can't keep it all to myself anymore. She lives just down the road and sooner of later a neighbour will see anyway and I thought it better that she find out from me than from them.

With regards to my work situation it isn't getting any better and is in fact deteriorating and I don't think I can hang on to my job for much longer. It's causing me some problems as I think at my age, 57, despite reassurances about age discrimination it will be difficult to find another. So things are going to get a little tight and we are thinking of moving to a smaller property to help with the finances.

Well no matter what happens today and where we go I'm definitely going to dress up and have a girly day. My wife is still in bed and I don't know what we'll do but she said that we'll stay local-ish this weekend. It will be nice to spend the weekend together and we don't get much chance to do our own thing. She deserves the extra lay-in because she has very early starts (alarm goes off at 5.45am).

I read the TES article yesterday 'When Sir Becomes Miss' told about the tragedy of Lucy Meadows and I found it shocking that she was hounded by the press in what the Editor described as 'Venemous'. The article has references to others that have transitioned without any problems and gives a statistic that 1 in a 100 staff  be affected by being transgendered. That's an amazing statistic and if you then include Transvestites then the figure has to be higher. So what about the 'inbetweeners'? Those of us who describe ourselves as Crossdressers or Transvestites? Where do we fit in? So it does seem to me that Transsexuals are becoming more acceptable than it is to be a Transvestite.  That is not to say it isn't difficult to transition as the case of Lucy Meadows testifies. So those of us who remain in the closet, so to speak, are more heavily discriminated against. How do you tell your boss that on Monday I would like to be known as Tina but on Tuesday I'll be Bob again but on Wednesday although I'll be Bob I will be wearing nail varnish, earrings and lipstick! As you can see we still have a long way to go. Prejudice is every where and those of us who are part of the Trans Community have a long way to go as well. How can we hope to persuade others to accept us as we are when within our own community prejudice is rife. How many times have Transsexuals, both pre and post op, segregated themselves apart from those they describe as Hairy Panty Wearers and dismiss there feelings like their own experience is the only legitimate one. Let us look at our own community first before we judge the wider community because if we can't accept the spectrum of colours within then how can we ask those in 'Vanila World' to accept what we can't.

Lucy Meadows shouldn't become an old headline where in a news story she was called 'Selfish' but we should remember her struggle and remember how difficult her life was and that what she did she did she did for all of us.

It is strange that the newspaper that was so vitriolic about Lucy should publish, yesterday, an interesting article about a photographer, Mariette Pathy Allen, who has been photographing crossdressers for 35 years. The headline reads 'Beyond wigs and makeup: Photographer spends 35 years capturing cross-dressers on camera in a mission to 'de-freakify' them' You can read the article and look at the photos here http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2322309/Beyond-wigs-makeup-Photographer-spends-35-years-capturing-cross-dressers-camera-mission-freakify-them.html

It's a fascinating article and well worth the read. Some of the photos are amazing and this kind of positive image of us is very encouraging.