Went to the Woods

S and I went to a Suffolk Woodland yesterday. I thought I would get a chance to put my new outfit on but it didn't happen. Instead I dressed in a black woollen tunic and fishnet tights. I dressed at home so the drive was also exciting. S doesn't mind doing the driving while I'm dressed so I can enjoy the myself and chill out. The most nervous moments are getting out of the house but I'm beginning to get philosophical about it all in so much that if I get seen then I get seen. The drive took just under two hours and because we left late we headed for the fish and chip restaurant. S went in to get the food and I sat in the car. As always, I suppose I'm a bit of a curiosity, people seem to stare somewhat. It was a busy car park and a popular destination. I normally wear sunglasses so it makes it easier for me to see who's looking.

After our food, which was yummy by the way and didn't do anything to help my diet at all, we went to a local woodland car park which is fairly secluded, apart from some walkers and dog owners, and somewhere I can get out and have a walk. Of course I get seen and it is a bit scary but I managed to enjoy myself. Such freedom is virtually impossible to get closer to home. Perhaps I should be bolder and from time to time I am. This has included a 35 minute circular walk (see below).

S took a couple of photos of me which are included here.

 

I never realised that the tunic was that short. Still I guess the clue is in the word tunic and not dress. Incidently I get a lot of people saying I should be wearing high heels and if I found them comfortable then I would wear them, but I don't so I only wear them occasionally. The highest heel I wear for comfort is about a 1 1/2 inch wedge shoes. The other thing about high heels is that they tend to sink into soft ground which is what the woodlands is made up of.

You can't see it very well in the photos but I was also wearing a bright pink chain necklace and bracelet.

After a couple of hours walking about we moved on to somewhere else and we must have been noticed because a blue saloon car followed. We pulled up on small parking spot next to the woodland and I got out. I was then followed by the man who caught up with me and we stood having a conversation about my crossdressing. I never got his name but he seemed more interested in looking at S and after about 20 minutes he moved on

A Little Home Excursion

A short while ago, a Sunday evening, I was so fed up I decided, probably in a moment of madness, to go out for a walk dressed enfemme from home. I planned a circular route from home and the trip both S and I calculated to be about 15 minutes. Well we got that wrong because it took just over half an hour. I decided to wear my red shift dress and my coat as it was cold. I was quite brave at first but as I got further away from the safety of my home the nerves started to take hold. Fortunately the excitement of being out dressed overcame the nerves. So turning left out of my home I headed up the road passing on the way the neighbour's home would recognise if they saw me but under the cover of darkness it helped to keep my secret safe. Our road is fairly busy and cars were going by all the time. I don't mind the cars coming from behind me, it's the cars coming towards you that cause problems because  you are in their headlights and the our road isn't that well lit. After a few hundred yards I turned left onto **** Road. This road is heavily populated residential area. The odd car passed by but the walk up the hill to the major A road went without incident and I tried to enjoy the feeling of being out dressed as woman. As I reached the A road I was surprised just how well it was lit and although I've driven up and down this road many times I hadn't really noticed it before. Cars were going past me a some speed so by the time they realised what I was, if they did, it was already too late. I walked past a speed camera and wondered that if it went off would I be in the photo. The thought amused me to think of me being captured like that. The most nerve wracking part was going to be walking past McDonalds which was on the next corner. Looking through the window as I went past there weren't many in there, but turning the corner and crossing the road to the entrance there were plenty of cars going in and out for the drive thru. I had to wait while a couple of cars drove slowly across my path and I was definitely seen then. I walked across the road caught in a car's headlights. Keeping my head down and trying to do my most feminine walk I soldiered on (should that be womaned on lol). What else could I do. I was now nearer home going on than to turn around and go back. When I came to a mini roundabout I had to wait while a car went by before crossing but as I did my heart raced because of couple of likely lads appeared walking towards me from across the roundabout. My fear was that if they chose the direction I was going in it meant that they would be behind me and if they saw what I was then they could have easily have followed me back to my home. Fortunately for the me the lure of McDonalds must have been greater because they headed off in that direction. Just another 100 yards and I would be back in my road. As I turned the corner my next fear was if a neighbour was out walking their dog and they would be coming directly towards me. My friends house was the first house I passed and they were thankfully inside. When I looked down road I could see it was clear and the only problem might be if a neighbour was to appear from their drive. Turning on to my drive I remember smiling at just achieving such a milestone. It's something I've always wanted to do. It took just over 30 minutes and gave me a lot of confidence and a chance to practice my girly walk.

Visit to Ikea
Just been told by S that if I wanted to I can go dressed enfemme to Ikea  this morning. Not so sure about it. Too many people. Too scary. Just had a thought....its April Fools day to day. Maybe its her way of having a joke on me.

Revitalised

I had a really good day yesterday. My wife decided that it was time we went shopping and bought a new dress, shoes and some costume jewellery for me. She is so good to me. We went into Evans because they have the sizes that will fit me. We spent some time looking about and although I was in male mode I did wear mascara, a pair of owl studs, a feminine ring and a couple of bracelets. So I don't think it could be missed by the shop assistants who we were shopping for. We found a dress and my wife also bought me a shrug to go with it. I'll post a photo later as she has said we'll go for a walk around a garden centre this morning. I didn't have the courage to ask if I could try the dress on in the shop although I really wanted to. There is nothing more disappointing than getting home with all your goodies only to find that what you bought doesn't fit.

In Evans I also got some costume jewellery which include a bracelet, necklace and a ring.

After shopping in Evans we made our way to Brantano's who have a good selection of shoes. We found a pair of wedge heeled shoes with a 1 1/2 inch heels. I did try them on and yes I spotted by other customers but I thought what the hell.

After getting these I'm in girly heaven, revitalised and I'm now looking forward to going out today in them and walking about getting photos. I'll post a couple of photos on here later.

For some time now I've been toying with the idea to tell other people about my crossdressing or at least not being so secretive about it all. It does worry me and I'm concerned not so much about people not accepting but of ridicule and persecution. Yes, I'm also worried about my employers finding out as well. It's difficult to know how people will respond and I would appreciate if anyone else out there could share their experiences.

The Urge to Purge

It's been over three months now and I have this downer on my crossdressing. I'm not why I go through this every now and then but I do. If it wasn't for my wife I would have chucked all my girly things away for the umpteenth time, but she is always there encouraging me.

I know this may sound strange to some of you but she missed me being Carolyn. She enjoys who I become. She especially misses our girly nights in chatting about stuff over a glass of Sauvignon. I did dress 4 times including this morning in those three months. Two of those times were because she insisted. When I did dress I really didn't feel like it and it didn't inspire me to dress again. I think I'm through it now because the other night I dressed and went out my home and walked for nearly half and hour. Not sure where the courage came from as I've said before I don't really look the part and did get some odd looks. Fortunately no trouble which is what we all fear when we venture out.

This morning I'm wearing what's in the photo below. I did try high heels but they were too uncomfortable for me. They are lovely though.

 

 

Except I was wearing a pair of flat Mary Janes.

It was dark outside and still is. A neighbour walked right past me and didn't see. I think I would have frightened her had she seen me.

Going to go out today but not sure where. My wife says we'll go somewhere. Suffolk or Norfolk is always a favourite if she wants me to dress.

Trip to Canvey Island

Weather wise it was quite a nice day so my wife said "How about dressing up and going for a walk?" We both had it on our mind that I need to sort out my wig which we bought previously purchased from Angel Wigs. It is a nice quality wig but I hadn't worn it much due to it being too much hair. Linda, the owner of Angel Wigs, had said to live with for a while before deciding what to do. Now I needed it restyling

So a phone call to Linda at angelwigs.co.uk and an appointment was made. When I was buying the wig Linda made the trip to my home. This time I would make the trip to Linda's new salon fully dressed enfemme. Angel wigs is in the High St (Furtherwick Road) but the car park was behind the salon in Sainsbury's Car Park. So it meant walking through the streets to the salon. How nerve wracking. I haven't been so nervous before but also so lovely to be out dressed.

The car park was very full and people everywhere. With encouragement from my wife I made my way out of the car and put my coat on. It was quiet windy and the feel of the wind through my hair and clothes made me feel so girly. It was so windy it blew my dress up several times and some passersby got a glimpse of stocking. I made the most of the walk and it was a new experience for me. Of course I was aware of some people staring but generally most people ignored me.

When entered the Salon we were greeted by one of Linda's team and who made us feel so welcome. We were offered a seat while waiting and a tea and a coffee. The professionalism of this salon is exceptional and I and my wife were made to feel very welcome and put at ease. I was really looking forward to the styling.

We were early for the appointment so I got to really take in the atmosphere of the salon. It was the first time I had ever been in a salon of this type fully dressed. On prior occasions in shops in London I had always gone in male mode which isn't the same kind of experience. There was lots of friendly conversation and I asked if many crossdressers/transvestites visited the salon. Linda caters for a whole range of people and our community is most welcome and is offered a specialised service.

Taking the opportunity to do another girly thing and read Grazia. I never new what a nice quality magazine it was and it gave me lots of ideas for future purchases.

As you can see from this photo the salon has been designed so well. It was very spacious and I was able to walk about. On this occasion I took the opportunity to redo my lipstick in one of the many mirrors.

Linda took her time to put me at ease and ask what I had in mind for the styling and to give me her advice. Linda also gave me some expert make up advice.

To be honest I could have spent all day there. With renewed courage we made our way back to the car. Still windy but my head held high in my newly styled wig and I felt so good.

We decided to get some sea air so made our way to the sea front where we had a bag of chips for lunch and then made our way further up the coast. We parked up and this is always when I get the most nervous about being out dressed. The weather was taking a turn for the worse and it was so windy and there was a distinct chill in the air. Back in the car and now for the journey home.

Girly Tuesday

Last Tuesday I had the day off. It was a bit unexpected but I took advantage of it. My wife unfortunately had to go to work. She said when leaving why don't you dress and take yourself out. I am always a bit worried when I'm out on my own dressed enfemme. The other thing about dressing on my own is doing my make-up. To be honest I'm completely useless at it. My wife isn't that good at it either. We've both decided to do a make-up course somewhere. Probably close to where we work would be better.

Anyway I started doing the make-up and every time I stood back to look at myself in the mirror I wanted to just take it all off and leave it. Anyway after me sending whinging texts to my wife and her sending back encouraging texts I eventually got it done. The nail varnish though was a complete catastrophe. So it had to come off and left the house without it.

I drove to the coast and when I got to the car park I couldn't believe how many people were there and then it dawned on me that of course it was half term. I drove straight back out and text my wife I was leaving. She said to go back and sit there for a while to calm down. So with renewed courage I did just that. Sitting there with people staring at me was very unnerving. The urge to get out the car was very strong, so strong I overcame my fear and opened the car door. I could see and feel people staring but with a pair of sunglasses on I could see who was doing what without making eye contact with anyone.

Standing outside the car I felt so good. The wind ruffling my hair and clothes. I put on my coat as it was very cold and then walked away towards the sea wall. It was a distance of about 50 yards but immediately I was aware of a younger man who got out of his car and a much older man standing by a lamppost who both followed me. It was a mixture of anticipation and excitement. I didn't think for one moment that I was in any danger.

I did my girly walk as I've been instructed by my wife to do. I was now walking amongst many others. Of course I got looks I would be surprised if I didn't. As there were so many I was unable to get any photos. I walked for about a quarter of a mile with my two admirers in tow. I spent sometime sitting on a bench and they both walked passed by me. Presumably they didn't want be seen too close to a crossdresser. Eventually one of them walked off and the other younger man followed me back to my car. He got in his and I turned and gave him a smile and he smiled back. I left and he followed but he eventually lost me in the traffic. I then made my way to an area of heathland/woodland that I know fairly well.

I got there about half an hour later and parked up. Surprising there was only one car there. I was just checking my lipstick (I love lipstick) when a small van turned up and parked just a few feet away from me. I could see him staring at me but it didn't deter me and I got out of the car. I walked on a pathway that took me behind the car park. I was only two minutes into my walk and concentrating not getting my feet too wet or muddy when I looked behind me to see the man from the van walking behind me. I kept walking and eventually he caught up to me. He struck up a conversation asking me all sorts. I asked him if wouldn't mind taking a photo of me and he did.

 

We walked and talked a bit more and then he stopped me and started to fondle me. He asked what I was wearing underneath and I told him. He wanted to see and to take another photo of me.

 

It's very strange that I wouldn't class myself as gay or bi and it is only in girly mode that I would even allow this. It does cause me some guilt and I agonise over it.

He eventually walked on as he thought he heard someone coming. I walked around for a bit more enjoying my girly time. Being dressed is one of the best things for me. Like so many other transvestites it keeps me sane. But inevitably the guilt does follow and then I bring it all into question.

This is me on an earlier trip to the coast.

I'm looking forward to my next girly trip out. Perhaps one of you could join me.

Awake early again but this time for a good reason.

Got woken up early this morning from a really deep sleep. My wife heard a noise so I had to do my manly thing and go check the house. It turned out to be some dick head in his car playing his music really loud. It was 3.45am!! Can you believe that. Went back to bed to try and get back to that cosy place but it didn't happen.

My mind has been racing since then because I've got this urge to go out dressed in public for the first time without my wife with me. But the fear is equally as urgent. I really want to go to our local shopping centre and buy something and maybe sit and have a cuppa somewhere. But I'm put off by many things not least that it's half term and there'll be lots of kids about to start something or make fun of me.

It took me years to build up the courage and just go for it. I go out with my wife from time to time. I do get scared and I do feel guilty about it. I agonise over what will happen if I get outed by someone. As far as I know only 4 people know about my crossdressing. Two I don't have any contact with anymore and of the other two one is my wife. The other a female friend I'm not sure about. I think I told her in one of my low moments some years ago but can't be sure. The relationship between us chilled sometime ago after a bitter row and I have to accept that she may tell or may have told other people.

Walking out feels very natural and I love the feel of being out and the fact that poeple know I'm a crossdresser. As I said in an earlier post I don't look convincing and having people accept me for what I am feels so good. This is me when I built up courage to go for a walk on a bridge crossing the M25.

I suppose the more I dress to go out the more likely it will be that I get caught. It's inevitable isn't it. But I feel driven to be me and me is a crossdresser. I have no wish to become a woman, but just to be like one.

Ever been caught?

I've been caught. It was a shock too to be honest. It was back in the day when I wasn't as brave as I am now and believe me I'm not that brave now. My wife is my backbone.

My ex-wife worked in London where we lived at the time. The company she worked for used to require her to visit a Printers in Bury St Edmunds on a regular weekly business trip. It just so happened that on the same day I had a scheduled day off and used to drive her there. She would spend all day at their premises and I would take myself off to the local woods which was Thetford Forest. I used to visit a picnic area which I believe was called Kings. I'd got into the habit of taking my girlie things with me and when parked up changing into them. As it was fairly secluded I would park up by the woods and walk a short way in. Never spending more than a minute or so out like this because of the fear of being caught.

On this occasion it was a very hot day and I had changed into my girly things which included a short mini skirt, fishnet stockings with black suspenders and short heels. I laid out on a towel and started to play with myself but couldn't relax because if another car came in I would be seen. I remembered that in the boot was a wind break so I put this up and between that and an open car door I felt safe. I started to play. It was such a lovely day. I looked up at the clouds and fell into this kind of stupor feeling the knickers, stockings and shoes with a little mini skirt. It felt so good and I wanted the feeling to last. So I came to the brink many times. I was so chilled out I then fell asleep. I wasn't sure how long I was asleep but woke up to a noise to find this guy standing over me playing with himself.

I panicked and just jumped onto my feet and rushed into the car and drove off leaving the wind break, towel and some other things behind. I was shaking as it was the first time I had ever encountered anyone while dressed. I drove around for about for an hour or so and eventually when my panic subsided I went back. No one was about but my things were still there. I quickly grabbed them and then left. It was sometime after that I reflected on this encounter and got excited about it. I went back many times but never saw the other man again.

I always laugh about it when I think that the other guy must have really freaked out too.

I've read some really startling stories about some being caught by bosses and wife and other family members and friends. Now that would really freak me out.